Sunday, March 7, 2010
UFFIE
After so, so long I found a picture of Uffie, the "least working girl in show business," almost appropriate to blog about. Her album is coming out like, um, sometime in the future or something.
http://www.myspace.com/uffie
Also, this blog is mentioned in an eBay auction for some guy's real-life mustache. I'm bidding on it. Are you?
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=270540423035
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Know how-to be at my party-hardy in Heaven? Nothing on earth is worth the loss of Heaven, girl, for our finite existence is over in the blink-of-an-eye; Jesus/our Mother are the only free antivirus, while I’m only the prophet in a world that’s whorizontally haywire. Death’s super-cool, however, if you’re on the RITE side: we'll have a BIG-ol, kick-ass, party-hardy for eons and eons fulla anything and everything and more. Wanna come? Meet me Upstairs --- Now, having read this, you’re faced with a choice: return to God who loves you like crazy OR return to your world. WAIT! BEFORE YOU CALL ME A NUTJOB… I have some pretty nifty things you may do in Heaven! Besides being the most gorgeous thang God ever made, wanna nekk in Heaven on a park bench? Wanna lemme serve you for eons and eons? Wanna lemme feed you baklava and Starbucks (either mocha or Strawberries&cream frappuccino) and those teeny, canned oranges for the length of eternity? Wanna swim nude in the ocean as shallow as four feet and then take a shower? Wanna be one with me for SEVEN, WHOLE, MONTHS?? Wanna be an adorable 17 forever, me a dashing 21? Wanna love so deep and wide, passionate and warm the universe cannot hold our? Wanna lemme be a part of you till even Heaven crashes around us? Wanna lemme snuggle with you, to love you and gratify your wonderful, beautiful, adorable feet? Wanna lemme prove to you I love you more-than-you-know, from head2toe, bodyNsoul… to give you pleasure-beyond-measure? I do. Most definitely. Meet me in Heaven, girly, and I'll do alla that and more for you for the length and breadth of eternity. God bless you.
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